How I Helped My Client Make Over $650k AND Feel in Control of Her Life AgainMar 25, 2022
I work with incredibly awesome and successful people.
My client Beth owns 4 very successful businesses in the hospitality industry. Everything has to do with people and as a people-pleaser that wasn’t working out so well for Beth.
When we first started working together, she experienced high levels of anxiety.
She didn’t have any time for herself. She didn’t have any time for her family. She didn’t have any time for her friends.
It was all about work. Every day and every minute.
Her biggest problem was constantly having to bail people out and solve their problems.
Even though Beth was the owner of her business, she did tons of jobs she paid others to do. Only they did them badly and Beth has very high standards.
It was a never-ending cycle of people-pleasing and burnout because what else could she do? She couldn’t just let her businesses fall apart, could she?
Well, she could have BUT that wasn’t necessary.
Her problems weren’t necessarily caused by her businesses or her strategies but by what she was tolerating and how she was willing to treat herself.
When I asked Beth what she wanted, she said, “Not this!” but she didn’t really know so we started with the first stage of my success activation process.
We clarified her desires because Beth wasn’t clear on what she actually wanted considering she had spent the last decade focusing on all the problems and challenges.
This meant we unshamed her desires, reconnected to her needs and re-evaluated her lifestyle choices.
We looked at people she admired or even felt a bit jealous of and so got clearer on what Beth wanted from her life.
She had achieved all the success anyone could possibly want but it had always come from societal conditioning and not from her soul.
Today her choices are in alignment with who she is and what she feels called to do and experience instead of what she thinks she should be doing. This freedom feels like the ultimate success to her and she is committed to getting to know herself at an even deeper level to make conscious choices that work for her.
Next, we identified the success blocks, limiting beliefs and self-protective patterns and trauma responses that would make following her desires difficult.
You need to know what you’re up against!
Here is one pattern and success block we identified and worked through successfully:
People-pleasing to avoid feeling disliked, rejected, unlovable or worthless
What we did to dissolve this pattern:
Lots of mindset work, nervous system regulation, vagus nerve activation, soothing self-talk, boundary work and cognitive rehearsal helped Beth to heal her worthiness wound and shift into the empowering pattern of prioritising her wellbeing, attracting respectful people she liked and allowing others to choose her for who she is.
How this improved her life:
- Beth now knows what she wants, doesn’t want and expects and communicates this clearly in the moment. It makes her interactions with others direct and clear. This helps her to avoid misunderstandings, being taken advantage of and feeling resentful.
- She no longer feels uncomfortable or awkward about setting boundaries because we have completely reframed this and neutralised the childhood conditioning that meant she wasn’t feeling safe whenever she wanted to set a boundary.
- Her work relationships are much easier and she has begun to employ more capable and competent managers and assistants since stepping out of the rescuer role.
- Beth’s self-esteem is better than it’s ever been and she has started to take time for herself, discover some new interests and make new friends.
Next, we focused on aligning her business strategy and lifestyle choices to the inner truth and desires she was uncovering.
For example, we looked at all the daily chores she thought she had to do and ditched the ones she didn’t like or wasn’t even that great at.
Instead, we emphasised what she enjoyed and delegated everything else to the most competent members of staff.
We came up with new strategies and practices she found fun or exciting and implemented them in ways that felt good. This is how she made more than $35k with one new evening event she just wanted to try out.
Following the previous 3 steps activated a new level of soul-aligned success.
This kind of success felt much easier to achieve but it also required Beth to expand emotionally.
Again, the worthiness issues came up and we deepened our work around that.
Beth eventually came to realise that she is deserving of her success and allowed herself to own and celebrate her wins but she also saw that the success she had been experiencing came at a heavy price she no longer wanted to pay.
All of this led to her selling the business that caused her the most problems but that freed her up to pursue more success in her private life while maintaining her business success and increasing her income levels by hosting new events she found fun.
During our time together Beth started to take charge of her life again.
She went from stressed-out workaholic who surrounded herself with disempowered people who didn’t know how to solve problems and deferred to her instead and so constantly felt unsupported and alone to a businesswoman who felt worthy of calling the shots and letting her business become a system that supported her.
She made her business work in a way that allowed her to create a fuller, more meaningful, more enjoyable and fun life instead of work taking over her life and draining her of any energy to put into her private life.
Letting go of something that doesn’t work for you and isn’t aligned with who you are or how you work best is one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself.
It gives you the space you need to clarify what you actually want, gather the energy to pursue your desires and discover new ways of being even more successful while actually having fun and getting to be creative and excited about what you do.
And who doesn’t want that!?